You Shall Not Park!

Today I will mostly be ranting about Clamping.

As some of you will already have worked out this will be because I have recently been clamped. Those that have can have a cookie now. Don't worry, we'll wait, you have your moment - you deserve it.

At Mast Quay, where I'm currently living the car parking is managed by a group of alien fly-men from another dimension. At least this is the conclusion I have drawn given their complete inability to understand simple concepts like being allowed to park in a given space, and that paying to have a wrongly-applied clamp removed actually causes cancer in cute little kittens.

Anyway, I'm hitting you all with the full force of my rant before I've explained some of the situation, and as much as I like hating on these clamp-happy Nazis, it would be proper to fill you in on the situation somewhat first.

My car has been clamped. Yup, you guessed right. Those of you with cookie crumbs around your mouths probably guessed slightly faster than the others, but I digress. I pay for a space in the non-secure part of the parking available at my flats, and about two weeks ago I received a numbered pass to put in the window which matches the number of the bay in which I park. The clamping company, Secure-A-Space, who have a history decided that-  though I had already informed them, and gotten the management company for Mast Quay to confirm that I was authorized to park in that space - this wasn't good enough. My car has now been clamped, and a notice been served saying I've to pay £120 to get my car released.

My first temptation is to lock the clamp to my car and charge them £120 to have the clamp released. However, though sporting, this isn't entirely legal and thus other outlets for my rage will have to be found.

It turns out that the residents of Mast Quay are pretty uniformly against this company and their tendancy to have a massive Clamp-gasm if anything with wheels pauses for more than a few seconds within their domain. Strange, really, common wisdom would suggest that reptiles see moving targets better. Alas Clampers are the Hyena's of their little world - only preying on the dead, rotting, meat that's not likely to give up much of a fight.

Alas this logic seems to have failed them of late, as they've clamped my car. My Car.


I've written a nice long email to Comer, who manage Mast Quay, and I'm in the process of submitting complaints through the council, and SIA.

But this isn't going to get my car un-clamped. Oh no. Secure-A-Space have insisted that I have to pay to get my (wrongly clamped) car released. Oh, and they want to tow it. They actually want to -tow- a car displaying a pass, parked it's authorised bay, with authorisation. It's not blocking any access, dangerously parked, or causing an obstruction so that could be an interesting eventuality.

Anyway. I shall update you all as the saga continues.